I have only one niece. She's 3 years old and has a complicated life. Her parents separated last March. She stays with her parents alternately. She stays with us for a week then she lives with her mama for a week and so on. Though we have families of our own, we live in one house. Our family is close-knit and prioritizes relationships with our parents.
My sister-in-law started her motherhood in between jobs. She built her career as a call center agent, but it didn't work out. She then tried her fingers in survey promos, the one when an agent calls you and asks a few questions then when your name is drawn you'll win a small pack of their product. I didn't know how it went. While looking for a stable job, my mom employed a nanny to help in minding my niece. My brother was and is still working as a graphic artist in an advertisement magazine. He would accept side-jobs to earn extra money for his family.
A year and a half ago, a friend of my mine was looking for an assistant. I forced my sister in law to apply for the post, if she needs any help in that position, I am glad to help. She got the job. Everyone was happy for her, not just because she can now help in providing for her child, but because she can now have a sense of importance and sense of pride(this is a different story, this girl has the lowest self-esteem)
After a few months, the company became financially unstable, employees were asked to work for free and will be paid in full as soon as their money comes in. She worked more than 5 months without pay. She borrowed money so she can attend to official matters which i thought was a bit odd. If I were in that position, I would definitely consider staying at home with my daughter rather than spending time, effort, money for official matters. It's worst than being unemployed!
To cover all his daughter's expenses as well as his wife's, my brother, again, accepted a few extra jobs to earn extra money. Since, he was not able to provide enough, my family helped in my niece's needs.
My niece was hospitalized for suspected dengue. We brought her to PCMC at Quezon Avenue. My whole family was always there to entertain my niece. Me, my husband, my parents, both my brothers, my elder bro's girlfriend, were by my niece's side when she was admitted. She stayed there or three days. The doctor cleared her from dengue, it was just common flu. On the day of her discharge, my mom and I helped the couple with all the hospital concerns. Just as the medical personnel was about to take out the dextrose from my niece, I overheard my sis-in-law insisting that she leaves early because she's needed in the office. It's as if, the child is not her daughter. She does't care if her daughter gets home safely, or if the hospital bills will be taken cared of, or if her daughter will be comfortable after all the needles are taken out of her. Whew... she will really choose other things over her daughter.
My sis-in-law stayed with the company. After a few months, I noticed that she leaves very early for work and comes home rather too late. She even comes in the office during weekends, stating that she needed to finish something. She then spend too much time talking and texting. She even brings her cellphone while bathing her daughter. I got really irritated when she went to their room saying that she'll get her daughter's pacifier, she came back in the sala after 45 mins without the pacifier, so when i asked for it she went back in the room again and I heard that she was talking on the phone. When we went to EK last year together with friends, my sis in law was on the phone while going to EK, while eating, while on the rides, and on our way home. My friends even got a photo of her and her daughter on a kiddie ride, she on her phone and her daughter looking at her. She wasn't even holding her daughter!
After the trip to EK, she said that her company will be able to pay all her salary for all the months she worked for free and she'll receive two 13th month pays and P10K bonus. Now, that's a lot of money. However, her priorities were screwed. She didn't pay their credit card bills for 3 months straight, she bought a P7K bag on line, she did not pay her loans. It's as if she doesn't have a daughter.
She spends more time in the office and on her cellphone than with her child. This went on until March. While I was in a 10-day training, In received a text message from my elder brother asking when I'll be home. I called, and asked how my niece was doing, and I found out that a day before, my brother and my sis-in-law broke up and separated. My sis-in-law asked her brother and mother to come and get her and her daughter from us. There were lots of shouting and crying.
I wanted to bitch slap my sis-in-law. Why didn't they think about the child. Why do they have to go through that. Didn't she think about the implications of that situation to her daughter. Of course, I have to admit, I don't have the perfect brother. In fact, among us siblings, he is the worst. However, because I lived with them for so long, I observed a lot of inconsistencies and changes in my sis-in-law's behavior when she got a job.
Based on my observation, she took care of her cellphone more than she took care of her daughter. And what eats me up, is that kid is my only niece and she's bourne into a family of two irresponsible people!
Now, every time my niece arrives, I find scars, prickly heat, insect bites and other itch marks on her skin. She feels so light when I carry her and she doesn't want to eat or drink milk, she asks for coke, chichirya, candies and other unhealthy food. She's afraid to take a bath, saying she will drown. Worst of all, she forgets her alphabets and other nursery songs, she sings Justin Bieber songs instead. Oh, she also teach us new games which she said she learned from her mami lola, she now plays BINGO and Tatching!
No comments:
Post a Comment