I have been wanting to donate blood since the day I've met people who needed blood transfusion. But needles are not my friends. If there are other ways to get blood out of my body, I'd prefer that and I would have donated blood a long time ago. My fear of needles started when I was young and I underwent a lot of medical exams for a skin problem. The most painful experience was when I had to undergo biopsy, I can still feel needles pricking and a small part of my skin being scraped. I cried, I shouted, I asked and begged them to stop. I can still remember the look of the people and children watching me as i left the hospital after my biopsy.
When I was to receive my anti-flu shot, I told myself, I can do this, I am an adult, I won't be scared of a little needle. I repeatedly told myself, it's just like being bitten by red ant, by five red ants...Immediately, I cried. I got scared, I thought how painful it was to be vaccinated. Luckily, the doctor was very patient, he took time in comforting me, and made sure that I won't feel anything. And it worked. But the embarrassment...oohhh the embarrassment. It haunted me, it still haunts me. Imagine, I am always assigned to organize vaccination campaign and blood letting drive, but I am scared to death of needles.
Today, an opportunity! A blood letting drive near our house was organized. I was accompanied by my hubby and friends in my first attempt to donate blood. I requested to be the first so that there won't be a lot of people yet. Unfortunately, Red Cross was late and so is the doctor. It was the longest one and a half hours of wait. After I forwarded my accomplished assessment form, it was time to get my blood type. Woah...I thought i could get through that one easier, since I've recently had underwent HAT. Well, well, well, I thought wrong. when i was about to be pricked, tears fell down my face uncontrollably. My friends, hmmm, they laughed. I was like a kid, a kid who was forced to get vaccinated. A PNRC staff even asked me, if I am sure about donating blood. My friends answered for me, I am sure I'm just scared of needles.
When the doctor arrived, I was the first "victim". Th doctor asked me why I wanted to donate, when I look like crap and so scared. He was so concerned that he changed the size of the blood bag from 450 cc to 350 cc. I was really hesitating to lie down on the cot provided. My friends and hubby strategized on how they can donate blood and keep me calm at the same time. They took turns in talking to me while I'm filling up the 350cc bag. I didn't cry but I felt the pain. I was thinking, is the pain normal and why did the doctor suggested that I should not donate since I am scared when there is a need for blood donors. Is he challenging me? I thought to myself. That became one of my motivations. Because of fear, when the doctor told me that I need to rest for 10 mins and move to the left cot, what I heard was, rest for ten minutes because we need to put another needle to your left arm. Woah, I didn't know donating blood can cause deafness or was it just me?!
After that experience, I am really thankful for my friends and my hubby for helping me overcome my fear. One of my life goals is to donate blood before I reach 30. It's past my 30th year, but hey, I am now a donor! And it feels good!
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